Thursday, January 6, 2011

It was time for a change…

 

It’s a new year… and it’s time to make some changes. It’s time for me to take a long hard look in the mirror and do something about what I see. Time to do something about how I feel. Enough is enough!

My whole life I’ve been stick thin. Sometimes way to thin. Without explanation. I just was. I could eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and never ever gained an ounce. Unfortunately, I was also sick most of time… with no explanation.

Four years ago, in Jan 2007, I finally got a diagnosis. I have Crohn’s disease and that is why I was stick thin and sick all the time. My body wasn’t absorbing anything I was eating. Instead my body  was attacking itself and it was struggling to survive.

I thought getting a diagnosis and treatment would be great but another side effect took place. Once I began treatments I gained weight. And while it was good that I no longer weighed 97 pounds it was NOT good that the steroids made me eat everything in sight and I was absorbing everything I ate. Soon I packed on the pounds. Not to mention I also successfully quit smoking in January 2007. Double weight whammie!!!! OUCH!

I gained 45+ pounds in about 3 months. YUK! I worked hard for 6 months to walk it off and I did. But it didn’t matter. I didn’t know how to take care of me. I didn’t know how to exercise or eat right because in 29 years I had never once had to think about it. Now all the sudden I did. And frankly I was not good at it at all.  So up and down I went. UGH!

And today here I am back to being 30 pounds over weight and COMPLETELY out of shape. I feel like crap. I look like crap. I’m stuck on medication for my Crohn’s that makes me gain weight and want to eat everything in sight. I don’t fit in ANY of my clothes and I’m miserable with myself. :(

Yesterday I joined a gym and worked out for the first time in my life. It felt GREAT! YAY! I loved it. But what I’m going to love more is slimming down and getting stronger. I am so weak it’s pathetic. I went to pick up a 40 pound cat litter the other day and couldn’t do it. I have a tiny bone structure and I’m only 5’3” but come on! 40 pounds and I couldn’t lift it! That is really the moment that I decided a gym was what I needed. I need to get in shape. I need to feel good about myself. And I do. I took the first step. I changed my diet. I’m eating right. I put down the chips and I got off the couch!

Today… I hurt… I’m sore. And later when I’m working out I’ll hurt even more… but it will still feel good. And I will still feel good! And I hope in a few months I’ll be lifting that cat litter right up over my head! Wish me luck!

Until next time…

Carmen and the Primcats

13 comments:

Gettysburg Homestead said...

Woohoo Girl!!!! I too was stick thin up until the last year or so going through my divorce. You could actually see every rib. I too started going to the gym to workout prior to the divorce to "bulk up" and get stronger. Heck I carry heavy people for a living. I told myself I was going to put on weight by adding muscle. Well, lets just say that lasted only a few months and I no longer had time and was then on an antidepressant which made me eat. Long story short I never went back and have put on about 20 pounds. It is no longer antidepressants per se but fibromyalgia meds. To top it all off I can't go to a gym to work out because I end up hurting way to much for the next week and can barely move. Though yoga or pilates is advised for me. Who knows maybe I will get motivated too.

Good luck!!!

Mary

Carmen C. said...

((hugs)) Carmen! Do what makes you happy AND healthy:) I have IBS that goes along with the fibro and it is no fun, so many things I love just don't agree with me. Hope the soreness eases up for you soon!

Cat Nap Inn Primitives said...

Wow Carmen I wish you well and wish I had your energy or will power right now to start my diet..cause lord knows (and he knows) that I need to lose weight...I feel good..but sleeping is an issue..and when you don't sleep you don't have energy..so something has to give..keep us posted.;)

A Primitive Homestead said...

I hate to go shopping. Seeing all those pretty clothes. I try them on & well they go back on the rack. Until a few years ago I could wear anything. All my life I was stick thin even after having 4 kids. I had a work injury & after that things just went down hill. I ended up no longer able to hold down a job. More health problems came about & recently kidney problems. I have gained a good 35 lbs. The meds cause such weight gain even thow I really eat very little. I have tryed walking & excercise but only to end up in at the Dr & bed rest. It is such a battle. Knowing at one time I never had to give it a thought. It was a given to be skinney. I hope this is the answer for you. Any tips to keep at it be sure & post them. Blessings!

Deppen homestead 1862 said...

Carmen
I wish you the best with the excercise & eating good!
Don't overdo the exercise, it hurts yes, but don't injure yourself!
I will be praying for you!You can do it!
Hugs
Teresa

Loafer Mountain Primitives said...

Hey Carmen!
I too wish you the best!
Being resolute is tough. Just exercising alone will help tons. It sure helps me with feeling happier if nothing else. I too have been very thin all of my life but since my surgery i've noticed things are gettin' a little cushy :).
To bad we can't pick where the cushy parts go:).
Good Luck Girl!
Tisha

Tolentreasures said...

Good for you! My step-daughters, one of my son-in-laww and I started a Biggest Loser contest a week ago. We weigh in once a week and the person that loses the most puts in nothing and everyone else puts in $5. If you gain you put in $10. It ends July 1st, hopefully it is the motivation that I need to lose the last 20. Get it under control now though, at 52 it does not come off as easy as it used to! My husband lost 100 in 2009 and has kept it off, he is a huge help, he cooks most of the time and cooks "right", take care, i'll be checking in on you!

Cathy

Donna~One Simple Country Girl said...

Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you all the best. I know just how hard it is! But you can do it. We can all inspire one another!
Hugs,
Donna

CRAFTY STITCHERS said...

Good Luck, hang in there, you'll do it.

Tonya said...

Good luck to you on your journey! I've been on weight watchers and have lost 23 lbs. I still have 10 more lbs. to lose and I have a feeling they're going to be the hardest of all but I'm determined to be a size 8 by spring! I hope you'll keep us posted on your progress.

My Primitive Creations by Tonya said...

Way to Go Carmen... Your Mama is proud of you and supports you all the way..I remember both our Stick thin Days~I will never see them again but you have being young on your side.
One thing for sure exersise is good for the Heart~Body & Soul. I commend you for going that route.. Exersise in a gym never worked for me. Good Eating~Small portions~6 or 7 times a day have always been the most healthy and easiest way for me to lose..my work has been my exersise. But we all have to accomplish our goal the easiest way for us.
If you ever want a walking partner give me a ring...I love to walk..

Good Luck

Luv ya....Mom

renee said...

Carmen,
I wish you success on this journey. So many struggle to stay fit, myself included. I think all things in moderation, depriving yourself can feel like punishment.
You are on the right track so keep heading that way, you will see results, and feel better inside.
Have a good weekend.
Renee

Geesha said...

Carmen I know you can do it!! I had the same problem last year! But I had a women call me fat to my face...etc.! Just keep your eye on the prize! I need to get back into shape but I can't...baby on the way and all! I am bigger than a boat! BOO! You Rock and you can do this!